One of the big things I am learning through The Sovereign’s Way education share is how to start feelings the feelings that I have been denying and suppressing. In the family I grew up with there was no space for expression of feeling. Instead there was silence and oppression. It wasn’t as though I was ever told not to express the feelings I was having, it was just understood that I was to never go there.
I carried this non feeling throughout my life, I just thought it was normal, I functioned pretty well, I didn’t really know the extent of the feelings I was denying but it didn’t seem to matter much. Of course I have had emotional issues and depression in my life but they didn’t seem to hurt me too much.
I also thought that I was allowing most of my feelings, however the feelings were so buried that I didn’t understand how I could be suppressing that much.
Through a practical process with Greg Paul from The Sovereign’s Way I began to feel some feelings that I had been denying. After listening to the process he described it took a very short amount of time to start feeling things. I began to see how and why I was denying these feelings and how I have been lying to myself about whether I allowed them or not. I had built up a formidable ‘philosophy’ that was an intellectual pretense about what I was avoiding.
He also talked about what we do to avoid these feelings, all of our addictions big and small that mask the feelings. Because I started feeling these things I could also recognize the addictions I had that were masking them.
The feelings I suppress are fear, a feeling of powerlessness and a feeling of inadequacy. When I started limiting the addictions I have I started having more of these emotions more of the time. These are the feelings that I have been denying for many years. I do not know how long it will take for these feelings to diminish but I am pretty sure they do diminish and go away over time. The only way to purge them is to feel them.
I must say that this process is not at all fun to go through. I feel like crap a lot of the time.
I thought these feelings did not affect me much but now I see how they guided everything about me, they are the trajectory of my life.
Stay tuned, more to come.
I do not speak for ‘The Sovereign Way’; I am just sharing some of my experience that has come about because of TSW course and my relationship to it. https://thesovereignsway.com/law-for-mankind-options/?link=45555
He is pretty amazing, that's for sure. Perhaps I should tell him some time how those 5 words carried me through some difficult decisions.
No it sure doesn't, just realizing it's there is the tough part I think.