In my journey I have come to realize how much I need (or want to) look deeply into how I was molded by my parents. I think I cannot move on fully unless I can see how they affected how I deal with things emotionally. I can feel how I react to various people now and trace the beginnings of that emotion back to my parents so I can see how my relationships now are still being dominated by my parents.
I saw a similar thing, how my Dad was actually extremely conversant with people in the community, was respected and admired, but in our family dynamic he was much more withdrawn, silent and 'put upon' in ways. I think some of what men of this era (born in 1926 in his case) were dealing with was wives who were encouraged to be more dominant in the houseold, at least my Mom was that. So, being honorable, they retreated in many ways, not having a model of how to behave they perhaps gave over much power to their wives, imo. Nowhere to stand. Only decades and study have given me this perspective. Humans do not adapt well to fast changes sociologically. I have much more sympathy for his situation now than I did at the time. Thanks much for your post.
thanks for the comment jacquelyn. my mom was not very dominant though my dad never wanted to do anything she wouldn't like
I saw a similar thing, how my Dad was actually extremely conversant with people in the community, was respected and admired, but in our family dynamic he was much more withdrawn, silent and 'put upon' in ways. I think some of what men of this era (born in 1926 in his case) were dealing with was wives who were encouraged to be more dominant in the houseold, at least my Mom was that. So, being honorable, they retreated in many ways, not having a model of how to behave they perhaps gave over much power to their wives, imo. Nowhere to stand. Only decades and study have given me this perspective. Humans do not adapt well to fast changes sociologically. I have much more sympathy for his situation now than I did at the time. Thanks much for your post.